If I had Aliko Dangote’s Money

Who doesn’t know him!

Almost every dreamer in Nairobi, and the rest of Kenya knows this man. In class if not talking about Chris Kirubi and his alleged CBD home, we will be fantasizing about him. What we will do with his money. Such enormous wealth!


Aliko Dangote! I’m talking about Aliko Dangote, the Nigerian billionaire.

According to Forbes Magazine, as of today, his Real Time Net Wealth is $12Billion.

Come to think of it. Someone in the same continent as me has such money, and I’m here living like a pauper, wondering where I will get my next meal! Nyasaye omulala this world is unfair.

It is said that wealth he made from cement, sugar, and flour industries. Dangote cement is the largest producer of cement in Africa.

At 60, with only three kids (hope they are not snobs like some rich kids we know from South C-not even Runda), with all that wealth!


So just like many of my fellow youths, if not doing anything else (chatting, eating, patting, f**, rapping, writing, gossiping, betting, e.t.c) I will be as busy as an African bee (hustles for nectar unlike the American fat bee, which is fed on a silver platter) trying to imagine life with such wealth.

Imagine me! A poor young man straight from the land of King Nabongo, with nothing but only dreams to his complicated name, having such wealth.

Not even sure what I will do with it. Who can blame me! If you grew up in a home where a thousand shillings was such a lot of money then you can understand why I will feel helpless and lost with such wealth.

Apart from building mama a bungalow somewhere near the Busia Border (close to her motherland) with a shark tank, just like the one Lil Wayne raps about in one of his songs, complete with a huge beautiful garden, not sure what I will do with the rest.

Maybe I will build something as tall as the Trump Tower in the Nairobi Central Business District that will overshadow all those ugly skyscrapers carelessly erected in the Capital City of Kenya.
I will build it so tall that you will confuse it for Burdhi Khalifa. It will be so tall that you will think of Times Tower as a joke. And I will create my office at the top, on the topmost floor.

I will be the envy of many.

Green eyes all around!

Hope it won’t be unceremoniously demolished like the Tower of Babel, with all due respect to the Most High God.

Others looking at me with awe! Rappers like Khaligraph, Octopizzo, Kaka Singuchi, all rapping about me. Competing to see who will creatively put my name in his lyrics.

Or maybe during such tough times as now for many Kenyans, when living is a nightmare, food and most basic commodities unaffordable, just decide to do something philanthropic. Feed Kenyans since the government is at the moment unable, and not to brag about it at the end of the day, or even use it as an excuse to ask for votes like some people we know(sijataja mtu).

I don’t know, or maybe I should just go with the mentality of the majority. Go on a shopping spree. From here to Dankote’s home, Lagos, then from Cairo or Rabat to Johannesburg, from Dubai to Milan, to New York, L.A, Rio de Janeiro, name them! (Sounding like my highschool deputy principal, Mr. Mukabana).

A beautiful girl with features like she is Huddah Monroe’s other sister but with a behind like that of Vera Sidika on my arm by default.


That will be unproportional though. How will she look like, Niki Minaj? That would be outrageous! Never mind anyway. As long as she can fit in a car, in an elevator and walk with no difficulty, I’m okay.

Another thing she should go slow on shoes. Not to go about buying a million pairs of shoes just because her man can afford them! Some of which will never see the light of the day on her feet. This is just some of the things that most baffles me about girls.

I have a list of a million other things that I can’t finish naming and even if I do try, by the time I finish, I will have no girl left for me to marry. They will all have taken off a long time ago while I was still at number twenty something, scared stiff.

Not forgetting cars. Those cool rides. Ferrari, Bugatti (like that of Christiano Ronaldo), Lamborghini, Rolls Royce, Aston Mertin, Audi, Bentley, or even Jaguar like that of Jaguar (hear he want to be an mp, have power like Mike Sonko, crazy Kenya). I will make sure I have one of these and shut up that showy neighbor of ours with his noisy Subaru for good.

If I was Aliko Dankote… Thinking of it, which church does he go to anyway? (Ask for me any oga broda you gat there, ooh)  That is if he goes to church in the first place.

That  church must be the wealthiest church in the whole of Africa.

Imagine if on each Sunday Aliko Dangote paid tithe. Just ten percent of his income, like it’s the norm. I can only imagine that pastor. If here in Kenya, as poor as we are, have millionaire men of God, can you imagine Dankote’s pastor!

Sometimes back on one of the Sundays while following a church service on live TV heard this Pastor, think his name is Musila or something telling the congregation amid preachings,

“You know the other day I went to visit my son in Brookhouse…”

I was like what! Completely mystified. So the guy can afford to take his son to such a school.

I rest my case.

This whole issue is beyond my imagination. Maybe you my dear readers can help me out and whatever you find, please don’t forget to let me know.

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