Tough times to be a Kenyan

A friend of mine holding his shopping in an alternative “bag”. How we laughed

Yesterday I was reading a certain post, roughly titled “Structure” on this blog that I follow and it just made me realize how much life we have around us. It made me start looking afresh at almost every aspect of my life, at the many things I had overlooked in the past that actually mean a lot. Basically, Rosie, the writer of that post was trying to tell us that we have so much marvelous and beautiful things around us, some incredibly perfect like the symmetry of that leaf she gave as an example.

But that’s not the reason I’m here, typing in this cold Pipeline, just hours after it has drizzled. By the way what’s wrong with this place? Is it because of its proximity to Ukambani, or what! It barely rains here—not that we want it or anything—while the rest of the city is as wet as Ababu Namwamba’s Budalang’i and when it rains, just be sure the other sides of the City are as dry as Chalbi desert. You wake up ready for your day only to realize that you have no dry place to step with your well-polished pair of shoes. So you get back into the house to get your boots from wherever place you had kept them last time, hit them together with some sort of grudge to get rid of the dust and cobwebs, and put them on ready to go. You get to the CBD only to notice everyone is staring at your muddy gumboots.

Neither is dear old Maraga and his bench, and their tomorrow’s verdict on Nasa’s election petition that was before the Supreme Court, the reason I’m writing this. As far as I’m concerned, let them read anything. Actually I’ve learnt not to expect much in this country of ours because at the end of the day, you will be disappointed. Let C.J Maraga say the last elections were not free, fair and credible and therefore fresh elections should be held (after Chebukati and Chiloba were safely behind bars) or uphold president Uhuru Kenyatta’s victory.

Without much ado, ladies and gentlemen… Really!

Anyway, guys, the reason I got you all antennae-d on Madekesiworld today, is to share with you a little secret. It’s about the other woman in my head. She’s so beautiful and elegant but also crazy, with these nefarious ideas. The other day she took me on a tour to Mars, can you believe it? Hahaha… Just kidding! I’m sure someone was already at boiling point. Relax sweetheart, you have absolutely nothing to worry about.

Seriously though, what the…happened to Shaka Zulu’s lineage? Does the old warrior have any existing family member today? You happen to see Larry Madowo, kindly ask him on my behalf, the next time he visits S.A, land of Iconic Mandela—heard that his passport has recently been stamped alot. The other time he posted a picture of himself on Facebook eating fufu in Accra, Ghana—to check out that stuff for me. Its kinda important you know, but unfortunately boy I’m broke. You can call me the church mouse and I will have no issue with you. Currently I can’t even afford an air ticket to Kisumu City, leave alone Johannesburg. Blame it on…, on what? Nimesahau. Right now, if mama sends me a distress call from the land of King Nabongo, I will just have to hit the Country Bus again and face wale watu wa, “Waingo, come kuna gari. Unaenda Western wapi?”

Crazy times to be a Kenyan bruh, and before I forget, tell NEMA, Kenyans have made up their mind to support them unconditionally. The plastic ban is currently going on smoothly, though some of us, especially men are having quite a tough time doing shopping but let’s try to convince ourselves that it’s for the greater good. But what happened to the Cassava Bag I wrote about sometime back by the way?

Finally before I call it a day, Mpigs and Senators were sworn in today and you wouldn’t believe what Babu Owino said? I already feel sorry for Mr. Muturi, the National Assembly speaker for sure, he will have a cantankerous term with the young parliamentarian and it wasn’t just him alone that carried the day. Another new boy on the block, “Sweater Moja” Mweshimiwa from Meru arrived for the swearing-in function in a matatu.

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