If I could rewind my life

If only,

If only I could take myself back

Lord, if only I could take myself back

Back to the beginning, when I was still that innocent little boy in the village

Going around bare-footed with no shame

Sometimes shirtless but still felt the same

Or with a torn pair of shorts with my coal–black buttocks protruding

Before the world corrupted me, or before I let the world corrupt me

Before dad collected his last shirt, before I came to understand what it meant to be poor

When I used to thank God for a meal because where the next will come from, I’m not sure

If only I could take myself back

The many things I will do differently

Still remember the many wrong choices I’ve made in the past

I know, that we should leave the past to be the past

Don’t dwell on it

Appreciate the present by living right

Anticipate the future, hope it will be alright

But sometimes, once in a while find myself looking in the past

Reminiscing

Sometimes with nostalgia, tears forming in my eyes

Want to cry but I can’t, how will I explain? Hate lies

Also,

The ex-list longer by each day

Another sweet girl who couldn’t stay, maybe I’m to blame

Don’t know any flower shop in the City, or a place with good chocolates for the princess

Or how to write “I’m sorry” note

And in between, embed a shilling note

Maybe I’m not,

Maybe It’s just me making the wrong choices and I should stop looking at the faces

Looks are deceiving

Mama used to say, “vyote ving’aavyo si dhahabu”

Wish to go back, see if the skeletons are catching up with me

Thought I was running fast enough, making no progress

Just like the country now, everyone so bitter, the country is divided

Politics in the air, dawn to dusk and Monday to Sunday

The other day police brutally beats up University of Nairobi students

For demonstrating, which by the way is a constitutional right

But we divided on that too

The victims, criminal elements or students?

Depends on which side of the divide you are from

Maybe we should all just go back to the beginning, see where the rain started beating us

Like Frances E. Harper

Bury me wherever you will, but not in a land where men are slaves

God,

If I was to ask for a wish, would be to rewind my life

Back to factory setting

3 thoughts on “If I could rewind my life

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