I told you I can afford a Lamborghini!
The new 740 HP Lamborghini Aventador, probably blue in color. The one that’s yet to get to our shores or even land in our airports.
The car no one is yet to see being unloaded down our coast in Mombasa from some enormous cargo ship or flying on our Kenyan roads. The car that would leave almost all our so-called celebrities with green eyes, and probably later on start begging to have it in their music videos.
This morning I woke up to some morning show, Better Living, hosted by the beautiful Kobi Kihara of NTV, and she was in this big Nairobi based car showroom with a few luxury collections but guess what I missed!
No sight of a Lamborghini! In fact the only “scary” machine will have to be the three bespoke Range Rover Sports HSE 2018, Land Rover Range Rover SE that was going for over ksh. 60M and maybe that Jaguar XE that was going for over ksh. 40M, the one Kobi couldn’t believe she was sitting in. I didn’t spot a Jaguar E-Pace either, the one that was released early this year.
I can never let my girlfriend near that place until I have real money, not unless I want to start trouble. With her love for fuel guzzlers, might find myself selling all of Madekesi’s land. And just to be clear, babe I’m not trying t say that you’re greedy, all I’m trying to say is that just like any other millennial out there, you love “real” cars. And I promise to get you the keys to one of those machines before the sun falls down on me for the last time!
Talking about a car I phone mama to tell her I bought and she will be like,
“Lamborghini ni esina mwanange (what’s a Lamborghini my child)?”
Please, don’t judge her for two, well, very important reasons. First of all she’s my mama whom I love so much, and by the way, Happy mother’s Day to her and to all the mothers out there (it’s only two days after the D-day, right?). You made most of us who we are today and we celebrate you. Second, at her age who can really blame her for not knowing what a Lamborghini is.
She’s from an era where the only car that mattered was the Mercedes-Benz, Peugeot and probably more recently, BMW and Prado. Of course she knows a Range Rover. The local MP is always pulling up in the village – where almost everyone else is going around on a bike — in one.
Anyway that aside, I know you already asking where in the world I’m I getting a $522,000 (ksh. 52.2M) to buy a Lambo from! Okay, I will tell you in a moment be patient.
I have this idea in my head, in fact, I’ve had it as far as I can recall. Write a book, a very interesting book. Let‘s say a novel – fiction or not, but one that even the illiterate will be willing to buy — something like how to stop masturbation, or gambling addiction — and sell only half a million copies at only ksh. 500 ($5) a copy in it’s debut year.
Mathematically speaking, that’ll come to ksh. 250M ($2.5M). That amount minus all the other bullshit like marketing, taxation, agents and advertisement fee. You can also subtract the amount that will get lost due to piracy, because here in Kenya and of course in many other countries in Africa and across the world, piracy is the number one vice ailing publishers. It takes away a huge chunk writers are supposed to be earning from their intellectual property.
So all the deductions comes to, let’s say about ksh. 100M – but seriously, can it be that much? Your account will still have over ksh. I00M. Tell me I can’t own a Lamborghini, say it!
At first light I will already be making arrangements to import that car, specifically has to be blue in color, custom-made plates. Don’t mind the KRA (Kenya Revenue Authority). With their corruption levels, I’m pretty sure I can circumnavigate them. In Kenya there’s a saying that goes, “In Kenya you’re guilty till proven rich!”
Alright then, let me take a ride in my brand new Lambo… I mean let me start writing my brand new novel (lend me some ideas folks, I’ll remember to return with interest). It can work out, who knows. Actually it’ll work out, of course if I finish that book, and above all if you love it enough to purchase it.
Otherwise it will just be a dream that it is today.