Suicidal Mind

“Another night! Dear God, I pray you never let me wake up tomorrow!”

What a prayer, but who can blame him

Not unless you’ve been in his shoes, felt the pain of the pinching

Couldn’t rebuke him either

How could I, me of all people

Me who can’t even remember the last time I heard a summon

Me who is here, still running away from the inevitable

Who will change who?

Who will win, us or religion?

How will I tell her papa, when time comes?

That me, a Christian boy want to marry his eldest daughter

You see why I shouldn’t be calling anyone suicidal

What do I know about graduating with honors and at the end of the day no job

Each night resting your tired bones on your brother’s couch

Watching TV till sleep catches up with you, mind sorting out which office you’re yet to walk into

No! I’ve not been there

I won’t lie, don’t know how it feels like, to fall asleep wondering whether your kids are okay, whether they’re happy

If they had something to put in their tiny stomachs and,

If that man is treating them well or,

Maybe hates and mistreats them since they aren’t his own blood.

I don’t know how it feels like to live, Imagining another man with a wife you loved and still love

A wife you fall in love with even before you understood what love real means,

Playing hide and seek with back in the village bushes

Wondering if she loves him back, If she maybe loves him way too much,

More than she did love you

If I have to tell you, with my utmost honesty

With sincerity yet to be seen in this world,

Suicide thoughts will cross my mind.

5 thoughts on “Suicidal Mind

  1. If I had chosen to die when I was tempted by the loss of a lady I would have never known the love of my wife.
    I remember sitting in a dark room with a Bowie knife to my own throat over a girl who I thought was my true love. God sent a man in to talk me down and within two years he provided me with someone who was so much better.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. What? Sorry to hear your story sir, just glad you got help on time. God has a reason for everything that happens in our lives. Thank you so much for sharing that with us and have a great day over there. We’ve learnt something.

      Liked by 1 person

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