Ever watched Breaking Bad? If you have, then you might as well remember the last season where Hank Schrader (Dean Norris), the DEA agent in his last moments was telling Walter White alias Heisenberg (Bryan Cranston), his drug-dealing brother-in-law the following, when he saw him begging the killers not to kill him (Hank): “Walt, you are the most intelligent person I’ve ever met but you can’t see these guys made up their mind 15 minutes ago”.
The series is one of the best I’ve ever watched, actually ranging far above Game of Thrones, but I’m not here to talk about TV series, that’s not what I do. I mentioned this particular series specifically for Hank’s last statement that I have to admit I’ve never gotten over with.
It was interesting to see that one of the most thought to be intelligent individuals was too busy focused on trying to have the killers spare Hank’s life to the point that he couldn’t see the bigger picture. Or maybe we are just being hard on the man, maybe he was aware they had made up their mind but was not ready to give up trying. At the end of the day, in his state of desperation, he had told the killers about his buried drug money and even gave them the details of where it was buried. In the end had lost both his brother-in-law and his hard earned millions.
Why I’m I telling you this?
Most of us are just like Walt, either too blind to see the bare truth, or just too stubborn to admit that what they’re seeing is the truth! In fact throughout the series, he’s that guy who kept saying, “There gotta be another way out” whenever he arrived at a dead road. True, his persistence, ‘never give up spirit’, got things done but for this particular instance, it didn’t.
Life is about decisions; making and respecting others’ decisions. Period. No comprise, no other way. You have to make up your mind and so you have to know when others make up theirs for your own good. It saves a lot of energy, pain and regret. You have to make a decision whether you have to go through with that deal or not, or whether to go for that chemotherapy after you get diagnosed with cancer like Walt, or not. Whether you want to spend the last days of your life with your head full of hair and happy, or go ahead with the treatment like a soldier! In all these scenarios that I’m mentioning, decisions are being made. People are making decisions in their lives that affect them and those in their lives.
Love too,just like life, is about making decisions. By the way in one way or another I think you were sure I was going to get here. You might have guessed right. Love is way too important topic to be avoided or unintentionally passed.
I have to talk about it for too reasons; one because it involves making decisions, tough ones and two, because I’m in love. I know it’s weird for a man to be confessing in public about his love feelings — my friends will bash me for this “hiccup”, but it’s too late, I already said it.
In love, before you decide to be in a relationship — intimate or not — with another human being (of opposite or similar sex), you have to make a decision. And even if you do decide to enter into that relationship, it will come a time when you will have to decide if you want to walk down the aisle with that person or not.
A man will have to decide whether his girlfriend is the right woman, the one he want to spend the rest of his life with or not. If he decides she’s the one, he will go down on one knee or do any other trick out there, and ask her to marry him. The woman on her part, after the usual surprise of course — for some — will be required to make a decision concerning the marriage proposal at hand. If she thinks the dude deserves to be his husband, she will go ahead and say yes, with a tear or two to follow the answer.
You see! Decisions are being made.
But equally in relationships, you have to know when your partner has made up his or her mind about the relationship. You have to know when someone doesn’t want to be in a relationship with you anymore. As I said earlier, someone made a decision to be in that relationship and if they feel the current state of the relationship is not what they signed up for, they will make a decision to get out of it.
You can of course try to convince them to stay, which most of the time is mission in futility, and if they insist, you have to respect their decision. You have to let them go, someone better or worse than them will come along sooner or later. You will get out with a few scars of course, but alive and full of new acquired experience and wisdom.
Anyway isn’t that the essence of relationships?
And the same applies to marriage. If it can’t work you end it. That’s why there’s something painful called divorce.
In the course of a relationship, marriage, and life in general, you will be faced with a myriad of tough decisions to be made, and your survival and success will depend on them.
If your girlfriend can stand you up on a date without a life-threatening reason, then maybe she doesn’t love you as much as you thought. Obviously she contemplated, thought about the consequences of her action and a made a decision to instead remain at home and do house chores, go and visit that other guy or go on a road trip with her friends — obviously to her, that which she chose to do is more important than you and that’s the hard truth!
No matter how you look at it, at the end of the day she made up her decision and it’s up to you to do what you see fit.
You will have to make a decision. If you are the irrational type, you can go ahead and make your decision on the future of your relationship immediately, without thinking twice ( and maybe lose on who might as well have been the love of your life). But if you are a rational type — I like to tell myself I’m in this noble category — you will take a deep breath and go home, sleep it over. Wake up the next day with a sober head and summon her (sounds totalitarian), actually reach out to her. Have an honest talk, and if at the end of all that she doesn’t feel remorseful, and don’t even apologise, you can then make up that decision. You will end it with your head held high and in the future if it comes back to haunt you like some relationships do, you will tell yourself, “God knows I tried”.
Life! I don’t know how you call it, but me I call it Life of Decisions. And please don’t shy away from telling me what you think of this post. I will be so grateful!