Left to die

Just walked away from all of it but,

Sometimes I look back, though with a scary quick glance

Afraid I might end up like Lot’s wife, a pillar of salt

It’s only when I’m reminiscing, when I’m lost in a reverie

Pleasant memories of my childhood back in Busia, good old days

Living without care, during school holidays playing from dawn to dusk

With Kiki (Now a teacher in Mombasa) my childhood flame, recently Drake reminded me of her

Mama would be mad but she got around, always did and,

She always worried about our next meal and house bills, I didn’t have to worry about that

All she kept reminding me and my siblings, be responsible and take responsibility for our own actions

A single parent has too much on her mind, no time for visiting the chief’s court for disciplinary cases

Misbehave and you lose another of our precious goats or chicken, that meant being more poorer

But beside that it was all good, had dreams and ambitions

Always wanted to be someone I’m not (still do), outrun opponents like Ronaldinho with a soccer ball or rap my world like Tupac

Loved listening to my brother’s tapes of that rapper as he talked of his world with anger, barely understood the words at the time but could feel the pain in his voice

Wanted to be Ngugi wa Thiong’o after reading A Grain of Wheat and The River Between, I also wanted to be the late Chinua Achebe after reading Things Fall Apart

Wanted to be Thomas Sankara of Burkina Faso and I had a soft spot for Luther King and a little bit of Booker T. Washington, It was before I stumbled upon Bury Me in a Free Land by Frances E. Harper

“Make me a grave wherever you will,

In a lowly plain or a lofty hill,

Make it among earth’s humblest graves,

But not in a land where men are slaves.

…”

And for some strange reasons I admired Gaddafi, maybe after he started talking of USA (United States of Africa)

Wanted to be anyone who mattered, wanted to be anyone who stood up for something

Wanted to have a voice, wanted to speak for those without one

Wanted to speak for mothers out there like my own, wanted to speak against fathers out there like my own

Wanted to speak against atrocities committed by governments against its people, wanted to speak against countries using their power and influence to intimidate others into bending over

And above all, wanted to speak about love in my own twisted way

I do half of that, all left would be to die.

10 thoughts on “Left to die

  1. Years ago I saw a Peanuts cartoon where someone asks Charlie Brown what he’d like to be when he gros up. Charlie Brown responds “Well, at first I wanted to be a horse. ….But now I figure I’ll go ahead and become a man. “

    Liked by 2 people

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