Why can’t women get along with each other?


Photo by Eloise Ambursley on Unsplash

Sometimes I just wonder what ails women. Why can’t they just get along with each other? They’re always backbiting, speaking ill of each other behind their backs, cat-fights — only God knows how I loathe a sight of women tearing at each other — and in worst scenario, plotting to kill each other.

I know all those things I’ve stated happen with men as well and it’s always as scary as hell, but is so common among women. Very few women can tolerate each other after getting off on a wrong foot the first time. Jealousy and competition is always the root cause of it all. The way ladies handle these issues is wanting and it’s so different from how men would, and not like I’m trying to compare men and women.

You know, the other day I heard a peculiar case with my sister’s next door neighbors, Julia and mama Maurine, both who are hairdressers with salons and have a very antagonistic relationship with each other. (By the way my sister still has that shop, the one I used to tell you about sometimes back and it’s no longer small. Glory to God).

Mama Maurine moved in barely a year ago and found Julia already there and well established and she settled down ready to earn a living and help boost the country’s economy. By the way I don’t know why she chose this particular place to set up her business since there was an existing salon already, guess she had her own reasons or maybe she thought she might be able to lure some of Julia’s customers to her own salon. Or maybe it was the only vacant room available (I doubt that though).

Julia, of course after seeing mama Maurine and obviously sensing stiff competition, was cold to her new neighbor. They started having quarrels every now and then, fighting over customers. For instance, if a customer braided her hair in one salon and the same customer is seen in the other salon next time, that would be a sure recipe for chaos. Mama Maurine and Julia didn’t see eye to eye even though they were neighbors with their salon doors literally kissing each other. The women would even fight over a strand of hair that found its own way to her neighbor’s door.

Hizo ni uchawi zake!” One would say, obviously thinking it’s witchcraft being cast upon her by her neighbor. It was obviously ridiculous and childish.


Photo by Chris Murray on Unsplash

The other neighbors, including my sister rarely interfered and only chose to watch with neutrality, if that was possible at all. As for my sister I believe she didn’t want to get involved since they were both her customers, and also it would have made the whole thing even murkier even though it’s evident she gets along better with Julia. She visited her in hospital when she was admitted sometimes back.

Their feud was unhealthy and bad for business. If anything it scared away customers. No customer wants to be caught in the middle of unnecessary contest. A customer steps in one salon and is a sworn enemy of the other. God help you if you know them both. You are actually better off finding another salon.

The competition, backbiting and fighting got to a whole new peak the other day when Julia allegedly badmouthed Maurine who immediately reported it to her mother. Mama Maurine spend the rest of the evening ranting and shouting and sending her neighbor very discomforting insults. In that moment of madness, it’s said that mama Maurine threatened to kill Julia as well. But Julia got more scared when two men who had earlier been seen in mama Maurine’s salon followed her as she walked home. It scared Julia so much, prompting her to go and report the matter to the police.

Huyu ni kitu kidogo.” Allegedly she heard the men saying in swahili as they stalked her on her way home that night.

Maybe they just wanted to scare her, or maybe not, but you’ll agree with me that she did the right thing by reporting the matter to the police in case something happened to her. I applaud Julia for taking that decision. If they can’t amicably solve their differences like grown ups, then it’s only wise to let the authorities come in and allow the law to take its course.

But the question that all this hullabaloo begs is this: why can’t women just get along with each other? Why can’t they — and in fact all of us — understand that there’s much to be gained by getting along and living in harmony with one another than when living like foes. Now the two women will be wasting most of their time, time they would’ve spent making money, attending court sessions that didn’t have to be in the first place.

People doing the same line of business and with their businesses in such close proximity has so much to gain from each other. For instance in this particular case, it would ensure that only in rare cases does one hairdresser go home empty-handed because when one salon has many customers at a time and the other has none, she can send some over to her neighbor. But I know it’s easier said than done.

All in all, I think women are their own enemies. Women are enemies of their own progress and I still believe they can do better.

2 thoughts on “Why can’t women get along with each other?

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