Grave Thoughts

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Death, how I dreaded death as a kid,

Now I find solace in thoughts of the grave,

Fed it well now it has sprouted, evil seed,

Thoughts of self-harm in my head, I’m a slave.

 

I bear no shackles, live under no incarceration,

Yet I see no sunshine, my soul engulfed in darkness,

Had dreams, now only nightmares; painful like castration,

Where did the love for life go, now wallowing in hopelessness.

 

If the roof falls down, would be free,

Savagery, acting like uncouthed barbarian,

Feeling emptiness after a killing spree,

Not kamikaze,  more of a rectitudinarian

 

If these are acts of a coward, a man escaping fate,

Running from inevitable eventuality, so be it,

And I choose not to be around, to see the hate,

That comes from the one I love, when truth hit.

 

Can’t bear to look into her eyes, when it dawns,

On her that she had been living a lie,

The man of her dreams, the one who owns,

Her heart, is just an illusion like the sky. 

 

Thoughts of failure scare me, keep my heart rattled like the rattlesnake,

Thoughts of life without her, the one I truly love keeps my eyes open at night,

Would choose a lofty building to end my affliction, save many heartache,

Doubt if any vacuum would be created by my absence, who’d miss a detrimental site? 

2 thoughts on “Grave Thoughts

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